Whats Wrong with My Life

Its Wednesday. 3rd Working Day after my 4 days Refresher. 

Today am on MC. 

Took MC to rest at home and at the same time sort out my thoughts on work. Stay On and push through for another 6 months and end of my contract OR Move-On with my life to a better place. Before today my mind has been telling me to just move-on. Perhaps the sick and tired feeling of here that I felt 3 months back has once awaken through events that happened last week. Didn't know what I am doing at work, how am I helping in this company as my role and etc. Problem lies in how do I fit into this environment which I have finding since Day 1. 

Since my return after that incident last week, everything has changed internally within my department. Communication totally stopped between me and that girl which still pissed me off but I like the current situation. Things which I have bottled up had been release, no more require to hold back and give her face anymore. But I hate the sucky feel for the past 2 days. Things they do with reference to my email content last week truely draw the line clear. Even today when I'm on MC, my boss PA specially sms me to tell me boss asked her to place drawings on my table for my reference. My senior whom had always been borrowing my calculator from time to time had this time borrow from my boss PA instead. Small gestures as such are very much detectable by someone who is so sensitive like me. What had I did wrong? It was nothing of my fault, I just merely declared these issues that have been always there bothering me which none seem to react to my comments. With reference to that incident last week, my boss and senior chose to end it as per it is and not talk about it. I didn't feel good at all, all of these reactions appear to me that its my fault.

Seeing all these, I just totally gave up. Like what I mentioned last week, no more trust in anyone. Do what I am only asked to do and nothing more. Only do what is rightfully and do not help others (her) in works she did not do. If they chose not to react to wrongful acts (like her) then I shall follow what she does. Like being 20-30mins late (She was late for 1 hr yesterday), Leave on-the-dot, only attend meeting if I am required. Determination of this shall come from instruction by Boss / Senior, otherwise no instruction, I will just stay at my sit. Still seeking for answers.....

Pissed Off Monday-Tuesday

Had been damn pissed off with the acts of my colleague whom I have asked for her help to send out calenders but end up in a big MESS. Having refresher course and trying to react to the replies from various parties due to her misused of my email to send calender has kept me very busy with work for whole Monday. Unforgivable act. Emailed to complain and felt worst, my boss and senior doesn't seem to be standing on my side. Disappointing and gave up. No more trust in anyone at work. Heart Death.

Sent on Monday Night

As mentioned over the phone this morning, I am very pissed off on what had been done today with the use of my email to send out calendar without my authorization. I have to deal with all the mess created (Email replies from various parties like QS, AES, client and etc) the whole day throughout my reservice and even getting calls from client in the evening just because the calendar was sent out under my Name.

For your information, Personal emails are very sensitive and I believe before going off on Monday I only allow you to assess my computer for files and definitely I did not agree for you to use or even open my mailbox. I am not dealing this personal BUT I do not ALLOW such mistakes to occur. I had to even come back all the way from Yishun to deal with this. I have changed my Computer Password and WILL NOT ALLOW ANYONE to open my computer with my permission after this incident.

Dear ALL

Please refrain from using my desk for your office or personal things. If really required, please clear EVERYTHING before I come back or else I will dump everything to the rubbish bin if I see it when I am back.

Reply from My Snr

Ren He

Understand your frustration, but the only way to alter the calender is through the initatior, my fault, I should not have ask you to calender out for me since I knew you are going for reservist. Problem occurs also due to last minutes changes, that's why have to change again. And also, please rest assure that we are not out there to mess up your table. I did borrow your calculator cause use in meetings, I put back into your drawer but might not be the correct position, aceept my apologize. No more writing of emails, please, we can talk again when you are back. Enjoy your training.

Reply from Me

The initial calenders sent on Mon by me for the usual Tue and Wed Meeting have already been cancelled on Mon after it was commented. Those sent yesterday were ALL NEW.

Its my mistake to give her my com password and believe in anyone, I have learn my lesson and this will never happen again.

Reply from My Boss

Hello folk- following up just a call to each other and use your own email to send out, please do not use each other computer unless I am aware.

Please do not use each other email for work.

Reply from Her

I have used Ren He’s computer upon his request to help out and he is aware with agreement when he gives me his password.

I am not able to make changes thru my computer as I am not the initiator of the calendar for this meeting. At the same time, I did not receive any emails from Patrick with regards to the changes of timing (only after Ren He sms me that I realized there is changes requested) as such I have to use his computer.

However, after several changes to the calendar, I have decided to use my computer instead as not to confuse the matter further.

I just felt disappointed as I’m just doing my part as a colleague to help upon request and yet this is what I deserve for helping.

Reply from My Boss

Ok noted  in future any changes just go out from your own computer.

Tired. Gave up with eveyone. Start Looking again.......